I was dead inside. I tried to find meaning in everything and everywhere, but all seemed meaningless as if all the reality has turned into fiction. All characters were playing their role so well, but I could still figure out how fake and shallow they were inside.
Everything was so beautiful, yet ugly in their respective way. Then, when I was about to give up on everything, I met you, who could understand me well, who was neither fake nor shallow nor a hypocrite. You were a part of me always, and I never appreciated you. All the time in the world felt short for us. I could see how all the flowers which were dead once started blooming. I felt fresh even in the most polluted air. I saw how everyone is struggling with something or the other and here I am, content with the reality I found. I had that energy and all those positive vibes even on the most tiring day.
People thought I have gone numb and emotionless, little did they know the level at which I could feel or empathize. They did everything in their power to set us apart, and after a time their attempts started succeeding. I once again started feeling dead inside. People thought they did a great deed by curing my depression, little did they know they pushed me towards depression.
Then one day you found me again. You said you were never gone, instead flickered for a while as the storm was passing. You explained that whats innate you cannot be separated, no matter how much you or this world tries. You taught me to be more forbearing.
Alas! What would I have done, or how would I have expressed myself without you, my “WRITING”? You held me at my lowest when everyone left. You helped me to be eloquent and blunt. You made me stronger and gentle at the same time. I wish you to grow stronger and never let this bond break.
Why are people scared of being alone at times? Is it because they think they might get to know their true selves or is it because they are simply too scared to be alone. I am always keen to know how people who are always dependent on someone sees the world? Do they depend on just 1 person, or does their priority change with time? Do those people find ‘perception’ and ‘deception’ as two different words or find them as contextual synonyms? Do those people blame others for their mishaps because they are too dependent on other people or they simply ignore what’s going around them because it’s too hard for them to handle the situation?
We often get stuck with ‘why it went wrong’ or ‘how it went wrong’ or ‘what went wrong’? Do we try finding what right that wrong might have done? Do we get satisfied with the answers we get, or it’s just the shredding up the burden we have been carrying? Why is the majority of people not keen to explore the nature, to find the answers the world other than the materialistic world is hiding? Why we get stuck for long at a point or situation? Why moving forward scares us? Why are we all becoming skeptical day by day? Why someone’s kindness is taken for granted or is considered as a ‘fake image’? Why don’t people believe that despite horrible humans there are some selfless and loving humans too?
Why people judge others so quickly without even knowing them? Why are we entangled in this materialistic world? Why hatred seems to win over love? Why are humans so impatient? Why we always need shortcuts? Why helping is just a business for many?Why is ‘betrayal’ the new ‘trust’? Why can’t we forgive? Why we hold grudges for years? Why one incidence change the true us? Why we complicate things when everything is so simple? Why it’s hard to handle other people? Why it’s hard to be happy or find happiness? Does happiness depend on the materialistic things? Why it’s hard to express our feelings? Why we always have to think of consequences? Why can’t we simply hear our inner voice or to our heart and do things accordingly? Why we are least interested in what’s going on around us? Where is all the humanity going? Why don’t the majority of us have ‘why’ in our lives? Why we so easily become detached? Why finding solace is a daunting task for many?
It’s hard to control your feelings when you desperately want it to get reciprocated. Trust me, I know how it feels when you give someone your heart and soul and become so vulnerable, that the other person can take advantage of it or play with it or ruin it. Merciless and sadistic people of this ruthless world doesn’t know the value of pure feelings and without any second thought trample someone’s soul and their heart and all their feelings.
No one has the power to change you, especially those who don’t understand genuine feelings then why change yourself because of one incident or because of one person. Why hide in a shell deep under the sea, making it difficult for the one searching for a pearl? Why guarding or restraining yourself unnecessary? You didn’t do anything wrong or didn’t break anyone’s trust, then why circumscribe or punish yourself? Just don’t stop yourself and flow with the water and reach the shore to see how people are still in the search for a ‘pearl’.